Ah October, a truly terrifying month filled with scary decor and frightening tales, and while I am not a fan of either, I have both for you today.
The spider you see is about as spooky as it gets around here.
I stretch a little webbing over a wreath, set him ~ or her ~ inside and poof!
I'm decorated for Halloween.
Magic.
My frightening tale, entitled The {Not So} Itsy Bitsy Spider, is one that I published back in the fall of 2013.
It doesn't take place during a full moon or on All Hallows' Eve, but it should.
It's that terrifying.
Unfortunately, it's also true, and while I do believe in creative license, this one is just much better when I stick to the facts.
Trust me.
OMG.
ReplyDeletewhat is it they say... RITFL... FOMCL...
laughing.
i bought a little cottage in a new addition many years after bob died. little did i know that it had been heavily wooded and that the developer of course had gone in and just scalped the land.
we were infested for MONTHS with scorpions the size of lobsters.. i do not eat lobster to this very day...
and the worst... TARANTUALAS.
i arrived home one day from work to see a tarantuala slowling crawling up my garage door.
it was the size of a salad plate. which is not all that uncommon here.
the neighbor across the street had two boys. the tarantula JUMPED about 6 feet when the boy got near it.
i screamed.
i have also what you might call a phobia. that's putting it mildly!
sp i totally relate!
except... i do adore little mice. and even other bugs don't bother me.
but reptiles... SNAKES!!! no no. they're right up there with the spider and scorpion on my terror meter.
and i could NEVER have that creature as my décor!!! you are very brave!!!! XOXOXO♥
how I've gotten used to dealing with my own varmint removal since bob died has been a miracle. trust me! LOL.
it helps to squint up your eyes a little ... but you still have to see what you're doing. it's rather tricky.
and yet i always literally shed a tear. i've taken a little life. one that has every right to be here.
i know. too much info! and this little box is misleading. i think I've written a BOOK here! i'm so sorry!
oh kim.
Deletejust so you don't think i'm completely bonkers.
i left you a new reply to your comment at the peanut.
good grief!
yes. i do really know who you are dear bean! LOL.
My youngest has a fear of spiders as well and when she was in college two states and nine hours away she called me once and said that she was sure that I was going to have to come down and kill a spider that was in the bathroom. She eventually dispatched it herself, probably with a shoe, and really was proud of herself afterwards for standing up to her fear. I know that feeling of panic though, I am that way about snakes.
ReplyDeleteSnakes...maybe I am not as terrified as we don't see as many. Spiders...all the time. I used to call my mom and she would stay on the phone with me while I killed the spider. I totally get your daughter! :)
DeleteThat was hilarious!!! Like Tammy, snakes are the ones that do it for me...and mice...and scorpions...YUCK! But I do not like spiders either. My very first camping trip ever was with the boy scouts..I was a scout leader. I didn't like camping and was not excited about this trip, but I promised my son. I decided I would sleep with a light on in the tent, just in case a bear wandered into the campsite area. No one said anything when I announced my plan. I got up the next morning to a tent full of those hopping spiders...they were everywhere...all over the floor of the tent, all over my sleeping bag, on my sleeves, everywhere!! I ran out of the tent screaming and everyone was laughing their heads off. They knew what would happen if I left a light on in a tent...it was horrible. Do you know how many times I've been camping since?? NONE, NADA, Absolutely NEVER again!!
ReplyDeleteBUT, I do keep a fake spider in the pantry...I've heard it keeps the bugs out and I will say that I've never seen any in the pantry since I've been keeping a large, fake spider in there.
Ah, ha, ha a spider in the pantry? OK, I may have to try this! :)
DeleteNow THAT is a truly terrifying story~ and a dirty trick!! Oh my goodness, I don’t think that I would’ve been able to recover! You are a good sport for going at all! My idea of camping is a Holiday Inn! ;)
DeleteAnd as long as the spider is fake, I MAY be able to keep one around...
DeleteIt's said that wherever you go, there is always a spider within 6 feet of you. Most of our inside ones are tiny here. But outside, in the corner of the house, where the sunroom meets the kitchen, lives Ms. Morticia. I don't know where spiders go through the winter, but each year in late Spring, a giant web is constructed in that corner. She is literally as big around as the tip of my thumb, but as long as she politely stays up in her territory, I tolerate her. I always love your stories, and this is one of the best!
ReplyDeleteThanks Cheryl. I am glad you love my stories. I do not however love your spider facts. Now I am going to be constantly scanning my perimeter. Yikes! ;)
DeleteOh I do so love your sense of humor and stories! It made my day! That is one of those memories that will last forever! Have a great weekend. Lynn
ReplyDeleteI can deal with the memories Lynn, just not the spiders! ;) Thank you for the lovely comment!! :) You just made my day!
DeleteSo funny and the title caught my eye right away. I used to be quite brave with just about everything...bugs, spiders, shoveling up dead birds, bats and squirrels which always seem to want to 'check out' in my backyard. Now I'm just jumpier and less curious. I think I've lost the spirit of adventure. When I was a teen I had a friend with a pet tarantula and I let it crawl all over me. Achhhhh!
ReplyDeleteHappy Weekend!
OH NO Jane...really?? Tarantula?? Really?? I have chills just reading the word...shudder.
DeleteToo funny Kim. That sounds like the kind of story that the hubs would pull out in front of everyone at a party, every time you go to a party (well, my husband would, yours is probably too nice a guy to do that ;) ).
ReplyDeleteOh no Kristi…he does, trust me, he does! ;)
DeleteOh Kim, I was just reading your spider story to my daughter, she being an arachnophobe as well and she could totally relate. I believe that we have all been embarassed in this way at one time or another. Anyway, my thinking is better to be safe than sorry. Have a great weekend.
ReplyDeleteI agree Mary...better safe...on the beach, far, far away!! ;)
DeleteLOL that's a good one! : )
ReplyDeleteGood and in the past now, Deb! Right where I like those spiders! ;)
DeleteLOL- I sure hope everyone clicks over and reads that story. It is hysterical!!!! I don't do much "scary" around here. I am more about Fall in general with a nod to Halloween. xo Diana
ReplyDeleteDiana, when I reread the story, I saw that you had commented. It was back in 2013. You were one of my very first blogging friends. Thank you! xxoo
DeleteOctober used to bring to mind, scary stuff. Used to. I have moved beyond that scary view of Samhain, though.
ReplyDeleteMy decorations do not "do" scary, these days. Happy pumpkins and cute little witches. No ghosts or spiders or 'spider webs' or floating 'eyes' or etc. Eeeeek!
But to each his/her own.
And Happy Samhain to all!!!
Tessa
Happy pumpkins and cute witches are right up my alley, Tessa!!
DeleteLOVE your blog! I don't like doing scary, either. Candy corn, and maybe some Harry Potter stuff. But a friend gave me some rather pretty looking Deo de la muertos stuff for our kitchen that doesn't have all the skulls on it, so I might go with that this year!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! :) What a lovely thing to hear!! Candy corn is a favorite here as well, and I did see a pretty glass skull at Pottery Barn this weekend. It was almost elegant…almost! ;)
DeleteHi Kim! :)
ReplyDeleteI am still laughing...I went on to read about your tooth mishap and underpants mishap...oh my...ah ha ha! :)
I am with you on the spooky...I am still afraid of the dark to this day and don't do spooky...don't want to hear about spooky, see spooky...
And like you I don't do spiders or any other bugs well!
Have a wonderful rest of your weekend! :)
Glad I was able to make you laugh Kimberley! I have a ton of stories...unfortunately! ;) It least the mishaps keep me laughing, too.
DeleteLOL - love it, love it!!
ReplyDeleteI too am very afraid of spiders.
Fun story, thank you for sharing.
Carla
Glad you liked my story, Carla. When others laugh along with you, it eases the pain of embarrassment just a bit! ;)
DeleteLOL-spiders don't get me scared but I can not stand rodents and I am not a big fan of snakes.
ReplyDeleteCan't say I'm a fan of them either...we don't see many of them around here, so that helps! :)
DeleteGreat story!
ReplyDeleteI don't like them at all.
The other day, I had a gardening crew come out and cut all the bushes back and up and off the ground, because the yard is infested with Black Widows. There must be nests somewhere. They use to live in the walls, but we stuccoed all of them. Next week the bug crew comes. xoxo Su
Yikes, Black Widows? I don't think we have those kinds of scary spiders around here. Oh my, I might have to move. You are one brave girl!
DeleteThat's hysterical!!!!! Thanks for making me smile on what has been a stressful Monday morning so far.
ReplyDelete:)
Glad I could ease the pain a bit…laughing usually helps me!! ;)
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