They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. It's a fabulous sentiment, but harder than it looks!
I am not good with New Year's resolutions. I never follow through.
I start out with grand intentions, fired up to rip that December page off the calendar and begin anew, but by January 15, the inevitabilities of life kick in and I lose my drive.
My brand new calendar usually sits on the counter, mocking me.
I don't think I am alone.
This year, however, living largely in the land of blogs, I read posts that suggested I choose one word for the year ~ a mantra of sorts to guide me through 2014.
One word for all 365 days?
Really, that's it?
No lists filled with lofty expectations, no columns of do's and don'ts...just one word?
I could totally do that, well, provided that word isn't "sit-ups" or "marathon".
It didn't take long to pick a word, I didn't think about it really, it just popped into my head: Change. Hmph.
That was easy....Or was it?
The enormity of this one word thing sank in when I sat down and started thinking about what I wanted to change.
I began to get overwhelmed. There was so much I wanted to alter, about myself, my habits, my attitude.
Being a pen and paper girl, I made a list.
I want to eat healthier, set a weekly meal plan, I want to be okay with saying no to things I don't want to do.
I need to exercise~ because I don't at all right now (unless you count carrying laundry around...then I exercise A LOT).
I want to organize my days more efficiently, meditate daily (an epic fail in 2013), take a yoga class, spend more time with my mom, have some fun and, perhaps, create an Exquisitely Unremarkable empire!
Was that last one out loud?
When I finished hyperventilating.
I realized that list aside, what I really wanted was to take some time for me, to remove the mindset that has been keeping me from accomplishing all these things up until now, a mindset that has had a dark hold on me since a multitude of events, including my mother's health decline, have occurred.
I have been expecting and accepting the worst over the last two years and that is what I have been cultivating.
The change I really need is in my attitude. I need to stop telling myself, "I can't" and start screaming, "I can!"
If I could do that, then I would certainly be able to find a way to do all the things on my list.
Of course, change is never easy, resolutions are always about more than a list.
In my case, they are about perspective, determination and family support.
I have the first two for sure, at least for now, but that last one may be lacking. I am not saying that my family is not supportive, they are the best, but...when one person decides to change, that may impact others and that is not always easy to accept.
I have been the happiest little stay at home wife and mother for years and I run a well oiled machine.
My staff, as my husband refers to the children, have chores and are very responsible. However, if I carve out some time for me, to make room for a few of the items on my change list, I may not be at everyone's beckon call.
How that change is going to go over, I can't imagine.
Everyone says that they are proud of me and my call to action....we'll see how long that lovin' feeling lasts when the junk food disappears from the pantry and their favorite shirt isn't ready to wear right now!
That's okay, because I am resolved to change and I guess I will just see how that part of it unfolds.
As for my own part, I am going to print that word out, post it where I can see it and embrace change...in me, in my life and in the new year.
Wish me luck.
Do you have a word for 2014?
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| What Other People Think Of You Is None Of Your Business |
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| Kindness Matters |
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| There's No Crying At The Nursing Home |
Great post! I love the notion of one word as the signpost for the year. Not sure what mine will be yet, something along the lines of just being more in the now (too many words) but you get the jist. Thanks for the good idea :) Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteGood luck, Claudia. I like the idea of being more present, as well...even if it is more than one word! ;) Cheers!
DeleteI am still working on my word for 2014.... so much to ponder! I also need to work on the determination... I have so many goals, and then sometimes inertia takes over. Thanks for sharing your thinking about this!
ReplyDeleteI agree. I really think determination is the key, Sarah.
DeleteInstead of picking a word, I am picking a phrase to work with this year.
ReplyDeleteLast year was a year of CHANGE and I didn't even plan it that way.
Good luck with your changes and convincing your family that they are for the best.
Thanks! I have teenagers, so I think I will need a lot of luck! ;) Happy New Year. Kim
DeleteI thought about going with a word, but I decided to go with 3 SMART resolutions instead, and have attached mini-goals to them to make them achievable. Here's to a great 2014 - whatever your word or goal is... Cheers.
ReplyDeleteI am a huge proponent of whatever works for you! Good luck and Happy New Year! :)
DeleteGreat post, Kim. I like choosing a word for the year instead of making a resolution. My word last year was "Discovery", and the year was certainly full of that. My word for 2014 is "Create". It's going to be a great year for both of us. Thanks, my friend. Hugs, Nancy
ReplyDeleteOh Nancy, here's hoping! I would settle for a good year after what we've been through, but great sounds lovely! :)
DeleteI have the word "Encourage" in mind. The biggest reason for this is that I've turned into a terrible nag with my family and that's not who I want to be. I'm going to work on encouraging rather than nagging. :)
ReplyDeleteOooh, Stacey, I like "encourage"...I too have been labeled a nag as of late. I would much rather be called an encourager! I may have to add that to my list of changes! ;) Kim
DeleteThat's such a good quote Kim.
ReplyDelete"Change" hmmmm....I think I might run from that word. :) Haha....I've had so much unwanted change. Yet we all want to change to be a better person, don't we. I hope your one word works for you. My word last year was Joy...no surprise there...except that the day I was going to announce it on the blog my husband lost his job and I realized that Joy would come from my choosing it...regardless of circumstances. So...in some ways...having chosen that word was a very good thing. This year I'm choosing a Bible verse instead. But...I haven't found "the one" yet. Sure I read it and circled it sometime a few months ago....but where?? :)
Happy New Year and best wishes for the change your heart desires.
Oh Diane, trust me, there has been a lot of unwanted change around here, too. Good or bad, change is inevitable. I guess this year, I would like to change my own attitude and perspective, so that I can handle the undesirable changes in a better way...or at least try! I enjoyed reading your posts on joy. Perhaps, like you said, choosing that word kept you focused on the more positive aspects of the year. As for your verse, I am sure you will find it...when it is time! :) Happy New Year!
DeleteI am not a blogger and actually just subscribed to your posts a day or two ago. There is no doubt that the timing was by "divine guidance" ;0) Reading your post woke me up; a little spot opened up inside me and your words tiptoed into my head and my overall being. Now, having said that you probably think I'm a nut case and rightfully so-hah! For the past 4 years I have been in that negative attitude place and expecting the worse to happen "at any minute". I lost a son in '09, my best friend 8 months later in '10, 2 other close friends in 11 and my other half was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer in '10 as well, but is fighting and so far winning that battle. Those experiences put me in the frame of mine of "ok, what next...maybe I'll have a heart attack, maybe I'll get cancer, maybe......" Wow - how negative can I get.
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind but I am taking on your word "change"; I will change my attitude this year and will work hard to change how I act and react to circumstances. What a blessing your post has been to me. Happy New Year!
Lady J, I am so very sorry to hear about all of your loss, that is A LOT for anyone to handle. It sounds as if you have had very good reason to be living with a "what's next" mentality. I am humbled that my post touched you and I am honored that you want to use "change" as your mantra. I wish you all the best on your journey and hope that the new year brings you only wonderful changes and peace. Thank you so much for sharing and keep me posted. Kim
DeleteI have never come up with a word to describe my goal for the new year. However, I've been reading about a lot of people doing that. It's fun to see what word everyone is choosing. It's a great way to focus on what you want to do in the new year. I hope you reach your goals for 2014.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kelly. I just started blogging this year, so I had never gone down the one word path before either. Like I said, I am not a resolution girl, so this just seemed like a good fit for me! We'll see how it goes! Happy New Year and thanks for the visit! :)
DeleteLoved your post and the concept of one word instead of lofty goals that no one sticks to. I think life gives you a word whether you choose it or not! Mine for the past few years has been resiliency and learning. This year life can throw whatever it will my way but I am choosing relax and that is where I will put my focus.
ReplyDeleteOh boy, Terri, that is exactly where I hope my "change" will take me, too!
DeleteI am your newest follower of your blog on GFC. Change is a big thing - both good and bad - I hope your is mostly good. I too have been asked to come of with a phrase or word of the year, but I have yet to do so. It is hard to just choose one word. Would love for you to stop by my blog sometime at http://homeandlifestyledesign.com
ReplyDeletePatty at Home and Lifestyle Design
I love your blog Patty! Happy to be following along! I agree one word is hard to come up ~ I guess I am lucky mine just popped into my head...or maybe I am just very in need of change for the better! :)
DeletePersistence! I am going to be very persistent at everything that I want to do. I mean stuff that I REALLY want to do for me. Like blogging... Yep, it is my goal to have a fantastic blog by being very persistent. I like your word too. Change is always good if it leads to a better You, a happier You. Day 4 of the new year and I'm feeling pretty good.....
ReplyDeleteI like your word, Sharon...I think that I may need some persistence if I want to achieve my desired changes this year! Here's to a great new year...keep feeling good! :)
DeleteMy word this year is focus. The nice thing about a word is that it's not a list. You don't have to start meditating daily TODAY or making meal plans TODAY and then beat yourself up and throw it out the door when one day or week is missed. One word is about instilling a value in you and when you think to yourself "I can change this" slowly over time you will. Not in an overwhelming way but in a peaceful, comfortable way. I can't wait to follow your empire this year.
ReplyDeleteYes Carla, exactly why I love this concept. Change is a process and not something that I can cross off the list in a day. It is a goal to move towards over the course of the year and all the little changes along the way will help me get there! Thank you for your insightful words, I know that I will be reading them over and over again when I start feeling derailed! :)
DeleteHappy New Year, Kim!
ReplyDeleteI so enjoyed everything about this post...and can you believe there were no pics of red and white checks or voyeur vignettes or tantalizing tweaks?! The written word, when expressed with honesty, clarity and spunk, (yes, spunk), always outshines the prettiest picture, in my storybooks.
I don't think I can pick just one word to identify with in 2014, as we are such multifaceted beings, and are guided by such a host of inspiring thoughts and ideas. I did SIMPLIFY my life a few years ago, gaining much needed clarity in my mind and in my physical space. This year, it just happens that I feel the need to make major CHANGES to my daily existence, and what that living entails. The challenge is that these changes, as you so eloquently noted, will affect others in my life, who may not be so welcoming towards them. In fact, I KNOW that they aren't, and thus, the complications arise. BUT, like Andy Warhol's amazing observation, time may change some things, but the things it didn't manage to change, things that we had hoped would, WE need to alter, otherwise, it is an infinite waiting game, and we, as mortal beings, do not have that luxury.
Wishing you all the very best in 2014!
Poppy
Poppy, I am touched by your words. You are a lovely writer and to have you react to my piece, in this way, really means something to me. Thank you.
DeleteWhether it be for better or for worse, change is hard for all involved. I agree with you though, that without effort and some potential discomfort, some necessary and desired change may never happen. We're only six days into this new year and it hasn't been easy, but I am determined to keep moving forward.
I wish you only the best of luck in your quest for change, as well, my friend and thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.
PS- No red in today's post either! Can you believe it? I'm changing already! ;)