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Why I DIY {And It May Not Be What You Think}

August 13, 2019

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WHY I DIY

Several years ago, I reconnected with an old friend. While we were inseparable in high school, our grown up lives took us down different paths and we lost touch.

It had been about twenty years since we'd stood in the same room together and I was beyond excited to see her.

We hugged in the doorway, made the initial small talk about how it'd been way too long between visits and how happy we were that we'd reconnected.

Of course, she was super polite and with one foot barely in the living room, she remarked, Wow, you have a beautiful home. 


Rustic Cottage Style Living Room

Well, being the decor obsessed girl that I am, that was all I needed to hear and I launched into "the tour".

We spent the next few minutes - remember, I live in a tiny cottage - traveling from room to room, as I explained how things looked before the renovation - what we added, painted, thrifted and lovingly made over.

She was gracious and smiled, even if she didn't say much.

So far, things were going great.

The tour ended at the master. My bed was made and very crisp, decked out in all white. However. My Type A personality forced me to immediately apologize, since one of the pillows wasn't wearing its decorative case. The horror.

I explained to her how that cover ended up in the wrong laundry basket and didn't get cleaned with the rest of the sheets and that normally it would be there...

White Pillows

...and that's when I saw it. The look. She thought I was totally crazy.

Hmmm. Maybe this wasn't going as well as I thought.

The idea that she wasn't as infatuated with home decor as I was, never entered my mind. And the idea that she was judging me for caring about it so much, hurt.

I hadn't run across that kind of reaction before, it was a first. Most of our friends were also deep into the renovating stage. It had become commonplace when visiting to "take the tour" and in real life, all I ever got was ohhs and ahhhs.

Fall Table Setting

Since I've taken my love of all things home decor online, however, I've been confronted with that same look a few times, only now it's virtual, in the form of a chastising comment or a harsh email.

The criticism doesn't deviate. The words may be different, but the idea is basically the same.

How shallow. Lighten up lady, it's decor.

I'd love to have your life, big problems, oooh, what color do I paint the chair?

When you get older you'll realize that these are silly things to obsess over, grow up

And my all time favorite - Unbelievable. There are so many more important things to worry about in the world. 

Yes, I agree, there certainly are...which is precisely why I write about decor, with my tongue firmly implanted in my cheek, I might add.

I started this blog when my mother had just been diagnosed with Parkinson's, a disease that, over the course of several long years, robbed her of her voice, her mobility, her smile and eventually took her life. At the same time, two siblings were also battling cancer.

It was a dark, dark period and home decor was my escape. I crafted, painted, sewed and stenciled my way through it all. And then I wrote about it with a seriousness it didn't deserve, but that made me, and others, chuckle.

Cottage Style Kitchen Decor

Tackling the subjects of torn sofas and outdated appliances was a no brainer. There are very few consequences for a botched DIY. You either toss it or start over. No harm, no foul.

I found it to be enormously gratifying, more relaxing (and much cheaper) than the 24 hour therapy I probably required. After all, laughter is the best medicine.

Clearly, those who made the comments, didn't get it. Perhaps they'd only read one post or didn't get the nuances of my prose.

If they did, they'd see the humor and sarcasm. They'd know that unfortunately, I'm well acquainted with the realities of the world and I write about them, too. Those pieces are just not nearly as much fun to compose.

Parents die, miscarriages happen, biopsies are necessary, planes smash into buildings while your husband is at work, close friendships end and the news on tv is often too terrible to bear.

So I run for cover with my keyboard. I'm well aware that the color of my tissue boxes is truly immaterial and whether I have a farmhouse island in my kitchen doesn't matter in the least, as long as my family is gathered around it at the end of the day.

And no. The fact that the pillowcase wasn't on the pillow isn't a big deal. Except that to me, it was.

A clean, well appointed home is my passion, it's my hobby and provides me with a wonderful escape from the real world. My cottage is a place I can count on, a place I can control when I can't control anything else.

Kitchen Sink Skirt

The view is always beautiful and it keeps me centered when the one outside may be gruesome. What's wrong with that?

And frankly, I may focus on floral couches, but I don't think I'm that much different from other people. Some like their nails to be perfectly manicured or won't leave the house without freshly washed hair. Others dote on their cars, their gardens or the preparation of their meals.

Are these hobbies shallow? Are they frivolous concerns? Should we come down on these people for their fixations when there are so many more important things to be concerned about??

Gosh, I hope not. Isn't there room for lighthearted pursuits anymore?

Life is not always easy and it's certainly not alway fun.

But for me, DIY and crafting projects are both. And if sharing that part of my life with the world brings even one other person some joy or a little inspiration to find their own moment of peace, fabulous.

It's a lovely diversion, where nothing is really all that serious.

Which is exactly the way it should be.

Well, unless the pillowcase is missing.

Why do you DIY?




Kim Signature


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  1. Fabulous post, as always! I DIY because my mother did, and because I love it. There's that behind-the-scenes reason of my husband losing his job years ago while I worked full-time (making peanuts) and we couldn't afford new furniture, etc. etc. I'm not a blogger, but I read every post of yours. I suspect those who made nasty comments are unkind in general, therefore they wouldn't "get" your funny and/or sarcastic comments. This last weekend I was looking at a very old rocking chair (it was over 60 years old when given to my mother in the 1930s) that my mother painted bright turquoise in the 60s. There are still bits of turquoise - I love that chair and the fact my mother was ahead of the game! I miss her, as I know you miss your mother. Love your blog. :)

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    1. Betty it sounds like we have a lot in common! And it does sound like your mom was ahead of her time. I think there's something very comforting about having a piece like that, it's not just a hand me down, it's a piece your mom helped to create. The meaning of it becomes so much more important and it's wonderful. It baffles me sometimes that others don't see that. I think they're missing out on the magic. And thank you so much for your comment. Your sweet, sweet words just totally made my day!! ☺️

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  2. Lovely, thought inspiring post. My DIY's are more crafting and making small things, gifts for others, and things for my home. I'm passionate about it too.... and it DOES help me live in my own little "unfettered" world for awhile, as like you said, sometimes the things outside our homes aren't so pleasant. I believe any sort of DIY passion is what everyone NEEDS in this day and age, just to keep us sane and with some humor. Many YouTube videos I watch bring much needed laughter and humor to my life, and every now and then, someone will say something very thought provoking and meaningful to me. You go girl and do what you need to do to stay above water in this world of today. Losses can turn us more inside ourselves, so sometimes doing what we are passionate about, will open a little window to meeting someone else who is much needed in our lives, or who helps us to live a little more outside our home's 4 walls. I'm a true advocate for any sort of DIY's and crafting! Marilyn

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    1. Thank you for sharing those very eloquently thoughts, Marilyn. That's exactly how I feel. Whether it's a personal matter or something that's happening in this crazy world of ours, there are times I need to escape to a kinder, happier place and if I can get there with a few crafts, why not? I appreciate you taking the time to comment, lots of passionate discussion on this one!!

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  3. In this difficult world we live in right now, decorating my home is the one thing I can control and I do it for me and my husband, and for no one else. I get you and love your attitude.

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    1. My thoughts exactly. And thank you for the super kind comment! 😊

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  4. Kim I am right there with you. I started to blog to find like minded people that might get me and my decor ideas. It has now grown into a place where so many bloggers without my decor tastes have become good friends. I think it is amazing we can share friendships even if we do not agree on decor pleasures. Sometimes people in the social media can be hurtful and rude. I DIY because I love to repurpose things into new things to live on in my decor. I love my home it is my sanctuary. I love things to be in their place and tidy too. Love you girlfriend and your beautiful blog and home.
    xoxo

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    1. Thank you, Kris. I was nodding along while reading your comment. I think a lot of us feel the exact same way…and I totally agree, the friendships have been the best part! And nothing anyone says can change that! Love right back to you, sweet friend!! xoxo

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  5. I DIY because I love making our home pretty. Since I have been married 31 years I have always loved taking care of our home .

    To many it's weird, to some it's get a life , etc. Children didn't work out for us. Got diagnosed w MS and I decided to blog for an ability to share what I love.

    You wouldn't believe some of the things people have said to me in person over the years. It's like being a villain if you don't work outside the house and don't have children.

    Cindy

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    1. Oh Cindy, I'm so sorry, MS is awful, and yes, unfortunately, I do believe it. I've been in the presence of people who have made the most cold and insensitive comments to others in your shoes. And believe it or not, even if you do have kids and don't have a degenerative disease people make comments about staying at home. Why they think it's any of their business, I don't know. I just know I'm pretty content here, where there are so many of us like-minded ladies, where kindness seems to reign.

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  6. I DIY because I enjoy bringing beauty into our little apartment. It just makes me happy.

    There will always be rude and negative people. It reminds me of a saying: You can be the sweetest, juiciest peach and there will always be that person who doesn't like peaches.

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    1. Exactly! I guess it goes back to you can't please all of the people all of the time! Thanks so much for joining the conversation! I know it takes time to comment.

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  7. I'd like a tour of your cottage! Tell me every detail- I'd love it! The only look you'd get from me is admiration. Barbara in MN

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    1. Barbara, you are so sweet! Thank you! And I'm sure I'd feel the same way about your home. I adore hearing people's stories and every home has them!! SO great to see you in the comments. I hope you'll be here often!

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  8. Hi,
    People need to be kind.

    I love reading your blog and it inspired me to make the rooster kitchen curtains which I LOVE and they turned out quite nice. I look forward to your posts.

    I quilt for the same reasons you DIY your awesome little cottage! Escape. I cared for Mom, lost a child, have a daughter with a brain tumor, and my husband has Parkinsons Disease. I quilt for those reasons, each stitch is a stitch of prayers and love.

    People need to be kind.

    Hugs always
    Terri

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    1. Oh Terri, I'm so sorry for your losses and I'm sending prayers for your daughter and husband. I totally understand your quilting, I used to make signs for my mom's room...each letter I painted was filled with the prayers and love you mention. It's a form of therapy, there's no doubt about it. And I remember your lovely rooster curtains! Yours were way better than mine! Your attention to detail and trim on top and bottom was very eye catching. I was so honored when you shared them with me...Sending big hugs to you and thank you for taking the time to comment. It really does mean a lot...

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  9. Why must people focus on negative things to feel better about themselves? I for one look forward to reading the blogs that I follow.
    I no longer have a home to decorate, as we sold our “ forever” home to live on our boat but I enjoy so very much your beautiful home.
    Keep these wonderful posts going. I’m happy to see that you live in a beautiful home.

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    1. I'm with you, Chris, I love reading my blogs every day. I prefer to catch up with crafty friends than reading the news...blogs are a much happier read. And thank you so much for the kind words about my home. Living on a boat sounds very interesting though, we live on an island and we often contemplate doing just that...interesting...I'd love to hear more...

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  10. Your home is beautiful - warm and welcoming. The very fact that you care enough about your family to take the time to make it that way so it's a safe haven from our often violent and disturbing world shows me you're not at all shallow but rather someone with a deep love for family and all things lovely. If only you could help make the outside world as lovely and welcoming as your home think what a kind caring place this would be. Don't change.

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    1. Sue, your words are very touching and very, very kind. I think I've read them over three or four times. Thank you so very much...and how I wish I had the power to change the outside world some days. I think we all do...

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  11. Oh my goodness, I would be sensitive too about the missing pillow cover, and you know no one is going to comment on it, if they even notice it. Nothing wrong with focusing on décor & DIY. You always inspire ME, so that's good too. I probably am one of those not so interested in décor anymore. I'm not into always changing things up. But I don't mind if others do!

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    1. Florence, the older I get the less I care about certain things in the house, too. I remember my mom saying the same thing. She would say, I'd rather do, than have...and I agree. However, like you, I would never judge. I don't sell anything, but I love reading your posts on what you've sold. It's like chatting with a friend. And what's better than that?!

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  12. Totally right! I love home décor and reading about it too. It's fun, I enjoy it and like you, it makes me feel good to come home to a place that we feel happy in.

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    1. Here, here, Mari! Simply and eloquently stated. I love it!

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  13. I've heard bloggers say they get some ridiculous & critical comments but seriously. I guess my response to the critics would their words right back at them.....lighten up!

    (How shallow. Lighten up lady, it's decor.)...Yes lighten up..it is just decor so why not lighten up & enjoy it?

    (I'd love to have your life, big problems, oooh, what color do I paint the chair?).....Well, if you really want my problems have at 'em. I will gladly give them to you & keep the 'shallow' parts for myself.

    (When you get older you'll realize that these are silly things to obsess over, grow up.)......I'm a grandmother & I hope I never grow up.

    (Unbelievable. There are so many more important things to worry about in the world.)........Would you rather read about all those things? Would rather have me whine about all the things there are to worry about?


    Personally, I think if you have time to criticize you have too much time. And if you have too much time you won't appreciate the frivolous, shallow things in life that help us through all those tough times. The best thing you can do when you hear from a critic is to remember they are probably going through something hard themselves....that's usually the main reason we lash out in criticism.

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    1. Jenny, I should keep your answers in my back pocket and toss them out when I get comments like that. I have to be honest, those kinds of reactions are pretty few and far between, but it always astonishes me to read them. I’ve come across some pretty wild things online yet it would never dawn on me to comment negatively on them. I get it, we put ourselves out there with blogs, invite comments so criticism is going to happen. And honestly, it doesn’t bother me, but I just don’t get the why…and it hurts me as a writer that people don’t see the sarcasm in my seriousness. Maybe I need to work on my craft!! 😊

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  14. This is a wonderful, truthful, and honest post. First, let me say I have never understood why people give negative comments. If you don't like my blog and what I write, DON'T READ IT! If you read it, then realize you don't like, PLEASE KEEP YOUR RUDE, NEGATIVE COMMENTS TO YOURSELF. My mama always taught me "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" and that's what I try to do. I read a lot of blogs...some I like, some I don't care for but I either comment positively or I don't comment....just that simple! I would looooovvvvveeeee to have you for my neighbor and friend. I would love to take lessons from you:) I am not great at DIY but do like paper crafting, writing my blog and a few other things that of my friends are interested in. Your home is lovely and your blog is great so keep on keepin' on and don't let those negative folks ever get you down. As I often tell my granddaughter, "NEVER LET ANYONE DULL YOUR SPARKLE"!!!!

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    1. Wise words, Cheri! Wise, wise words...and at my age, you'd think I'd just let those comments go. And to be perfectly honest 99.9% of the time, I do, but every now and then (like the morning I wrote this piece) it bugs me a teeny tiny bit. I just don't get the motivation behind it. And thank you for the super kind words!! I feel blessed to be able to call so many I've met through words, friends. 😊

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  15. Keep doing what you are doing. Don't let the haters get you down.

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  16. I totally get you! Because I am like that too. I am a total homebody now, in part because I love my surroundings and enjoy being home. I am constantly picking up after my son and husband who don't get it and I have to remind them of the ESTHETICS of things! Those others who criticize are jealous of your talent :-)

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    1. When I was young, AnnMarie, I loved decor and feathering my nest, it was all so new. Now, like you, it’s because I’m more of a homebody and I want the place I spend most of my time in to be beautiful. I don’t see anything wrong with that. And thank you!!

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  17. I completely understand, Kim. I DIY and blog for me and if I inspire someone or am featured, I am thrilled and humbled. It is my therapy because there are so many things going on in our world right now that I can't control. There are days I can't even go near the media.
    To the Haters, I say, "Go troll somewhere else" (Yes, I actually told one lady that!) I just don't have the time or energy for that kind of negativity.
    I think you're fabulous and I'm so glad we've become blogging friends.

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    1. Thank you so much, Ann. Like I’ve said to so many others, friendship is the biggest blessing of blogging and those nasty words are pale in comparison to the joy I get from comments like this! And therapy indeed. I’m right there with you, I’d rather hide among the DIY and craft posts that face the news. I hope you have a lovely weekend!!

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  18. Kim,

    Your blog is a fun place to visit! You always have great projects, and your cottage is sweet. There is a need in our world for a love of home, and on a budget I may add. It is because of the state of the world that places like your blog are such a place of refuge! Just like you've made your cottage a refuge for your family. Sharing it here brings inspiration - perhaps someone will realize that even on a budget they too can make a haven for their family.

    Kindred Spirits Unite! {grin}

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    1. Thank you so much, Deanna! SO many kind words…I really do hope that other find a little refuge here. That’s really the whole point. And kindred spirits indeed!!
      ❤️

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  19. The way I look at it, people now adays say what's on their minds without a thought and just type it. Just like on FB, just keep scrolling past the negative comments. They are not worthy to be seen. We like reading your whimsical posts!

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    1. Thank you so much! I do like writing and sharing my DIYs...and yes, I agree, on social media especially it seems that no one has a filter anymore...and kindness doesn't matter. But it should. Thanks so much for the comment, I love reading them all! Especially the nice ones!

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  20. I've certainly had some ugly comments in the past, but I don't think I've ever gotten one about decorating being shallow, etc. You have a truly lovely home, Kim. Be proud of what you've created for you and your family. Let the negative Nellies take it somewhere else. I'd love to have your home. I think it's probably the coziest house I know of, and you know I love cozy!
    Brenda

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    1. Thank you, Brenda. You've always been so super sweet to me, from the beginning, adding me to your Welcome Wagon line up when I was new. When my site was hacked you were the first one to reach out to help me and your comments about my "cozy" cottage make me smile from ear to ear. Negative Nellie's don't have that kind of power!

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  21. Kim, just go on and be you and don't worry about those rude people who apparently do not have a life. They try to elevate themselves while knocking others down. We cannot get await from those unhappy people. A home tour is a wonderful way to share your lovely home. Home decor comes in all different looks. We each have our own style. Keep doing what you love.

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    1. Thank you, Linda! Sunsets, flowers, a pretty room or well set table always make me smile and I just don’t see anything wrong with that. I’m glad I’m in such good company! Enjoy the weekend!!

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  22. Wonderful post. I don't understand people that read a blog and then feel the need to be mean....xo

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    1. Agreed, Penny! I think it just makes me more appreciative of the lovely friends I've made here instead!

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  23. I have loved your post and so relate with it. I'm sorry you've had some nasty comments. It brings it home to me as a few years ago someone emailed and told me I was just too happy. No one is that happy, she said. Some folks should just move on. Your home is so charming and I smile when I see it.
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia :)

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    1. Too happy!?! What?? See, these are the comments that just make me laugh. I adore coming to you site, Sheila, precisely because it's a fun, uplifting and musical place to visit. Everyone has their issues, but who wants to focus on that, especially on a blog, it's supposed to be a {mostly} happy place. Plus, your happiness is contagious...and that's a very good thing! Thanks so much for taking the time to comment today with your sweet words!! 😊

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  24. What happened to the former friend ?? It's about control. Somethings we can control like your lovely cottage and some things we can't control like death, sickness, other people.
    Don't you fret. We love you and your awesome decorating skill.
    Myrna

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    1. Oh Myrna, as you can imagine, the rekindling didn't last very long. And not on my part. I did try to continue, I thought maybe I was overreacting, but nope, she was one visit and done. Oh well. It is what it is. I do still have those pillowcases though. 😉

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  25. Kim, I am one of the many people out here that can completely understand where you are coming from. My home looks exactly as I require it to look, so that I am completely in control and have a sense of peace and security around me when the world is falling apart. It's a place I take my petitions to the Lord to make someone I love better, it's a place to gather and feed my family, it's a place that I know better than the palm of my hand and take pride in looking around and saying to myself I made that, I rescued that, I love that! You are on your own path, you are successful and you are sharing that wonderful heart of yours and your decor successes with us. We are lucky and blessed.

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    1. Judy Ann, thank you so much for that lovely, lovely comment. I’m actually blushing over here from your kind words. You also just stated exactly how I feel about my home and my website. It sounds like you do completely understand. And I think there are a lot of us out there, home is where the heart is and there’s no place like home are old, time tested sayings, because they’re true!! Even those that aren’t into decor would probably admit that. Thanks so much for weighing in and sharing your thoughts. ☺️ I really appreciate it!!

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  26. Kim, this post makes me so mad!! I can't believe anyone would roll their eyes or say anything but a shouted out "well done" when they get the pleasure of seeing your home. I could look at it all day and wish I could!! Some of us call out homes cottages, but your's is truly a fairytale. From the color of your walls to the rugs on your floors, it is a cozy and comfortable home that anyone should be proud to live in. And, don't get me started on all your clever and beautiful talents for DIY. The nerve!!!! Some people shouldn't ever open their mouths! Thanks for your visit and your kind words about my talents, or lack thereof. No, I am just kidding. I do think I have some talents, but you be the judge next week. I am quite proud of myself, if I do say so.. Happy Thursday..xxoJudy

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    1. Oh Judy, people really do say the darnedest things, don't they? I do let most of them roll away, but every now and again, I just question it...and wonder do I really come off that way?? I hope not. And your words are always so very kind, I cherish them all. Your home is lovely and you have such a great eye that I take you complements very seriously. And I can't wait to see what you have to share...now I'm brimming with curiosity!! xxoo

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  27. Kim,
    I am with you. I too do the same in my home and garden. It is my hobby, my refuge from this insane world.
    I am curious, what happened with the "friend".
    Stay true to who you are Kim. I love your blog and you.
    Carla

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    1. Thank you, Carla ❤️...and you know, from this silly little blog, I have met so many wonderful people, like yourself, from all corners of this great big world. That alone has given me hope on days when the everything seems so out of control. Kindness really does exist in great quantities, I guess you just have to look in the right place.

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  28. Thank you, Teri! You are always so very kind. I know you feel the same way about your own sweet cottage. It's a place we can retreat to, lock the world out if needed, and surround ourselves with the things we love. I just don't see anything wrong with that. Blessings to you, too!

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  29. Thank you, Dawn! I agree with you, everyone needs a diversion and like you said, whatever floats your boat. Decor is pretty innocuous, especially when it's done on a budget, so I don't get it, but it is what it is I guess. And thank you for the sweet compliment! No...no marble decked out dog houses here!! And I'm so glad that the zinnia bush worked out well for you!! Thank you for letting me know!! That just made my day. I love it! We get blooms and butterflies from it every year and it's so pretty to look at...so glad you're enjoying your view, too!! 🌺

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  30. I love the way you make your house look so pretty and you have a handy husband who supports you and helps out with your DIYs! What could be better than that. Keep doing what you are doing as I love it!

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  31. Hi, Kim. I have always decorated, rearranged and played with my rooms and homes, from childhood on up. Reading your post has made me realize why. My mom was wonderful and let me have free reign in my room, paint and all. That's where it started, I'm sure. But the reason I loved it then and still do, is that I feel safe there and it's the only place in the world where I have total control of whatever I want to do. No boss or teacher or sibling or bully telling me what to do. Just me and like you, I'm always very proud of my home, whether it was a mobile home, a studio apartment or a house. My mom always said take pride in your home, take care of it. It doesn't matter as much where you live as how you live. And beyond that, DIY and home "stuff" is just fun and I've been told I'm pretty good at it :) Thoroughly enjoyed your post, Kim.

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    1. Cheryl, I think there are many of us who feel the same way. Home is a haven...it's not just a saying, it's truth. And that's the way it should be, no matter where you live or what style dwelling you call home. I loved reading your comment. It's exactly how I feel and I'm sure it's resonated with many others. Always fun to hear from you!!

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  32. I went through a similar experience with a friendship like that and it didn’t last either because of her perspective....life changes us and whatever we had in common 20 years ago no longer existed. Thanks for sharing your experience.

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    1. Thank you, Ronda. I'm sorry you went through the same thing, but I guess it just leaves room for new friends!!

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  33. I think you don't understand that your blog is not only escapism for some of us as well as teaching, sometimes on the college level of home decor. I have a handicapped daughter whose care keeps me from doing what you do. Although I would love to do such things. I get to enjoy through you and other bloggers what I would like to experience. I learn from looking at living rooms and bedrooms so sometime, I will say I should fix that to look nicer. I just did that the other day, putting a basket under a plant to hide the bad part and now it looks much prettier. thanks for all that you and bloggers like you, do for people like me. We are inspired, entertained, and helped every day. Keep up the good work is what I say.

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    1. Jane, there are so many kind words here and they all just touched me very deeply. The motivation to start was to share ideas with others, to inspire and I guess, returning to my roots, to teach. The fact that my words and DIYs make you smile in some small way is amazing. The blogging community really is filled with so many wonderful people on both sides, creators and readers. I feel blessed to be a part of it...and I wish you and your daughter a wonderful fall. ❤️

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